I write all that is below because I feel I should share a glimpse, and that is all it is, of what I have come home from. I share it with you not to make you jealous, but to create within you a longing for the things of God. We are too content. Thats what was revealed to me this morning at church, I called people to hunger, thirst, longing, to want to chase after Him, to see His words bear fruit. Read what God has said He will do, read what Jesus said about Himself and his kingdom and our authority, read it and then declare it. We are living with the bar set too low, we are far too satisfied and content with where we are and the tiny things we are asking for. How big is your God? I ask again, how big is your God? Sit under His waterfall, ask for Him to fill you so that you might be brimming, that you might be poured out to everyone you come into contact with. Stop being comfortable and satisfied. Divine discontent. I dare you to pray for it ;)

Monday, July 05, 2010

Rightly or (mostly) wrongly, I find that inadvertently I have structured and live my life by a set of self-defined rules known only to me which govern everything that I decide or do. These rules, or more accurately "permissions" are determined by everything from preferences to social expectations to bases of sheer fear or unknowing. But regardless of their source, I am finding more and more that unconsciously I, and maybe we, live so much of our life constrained by invisible lines, unseen red tape, waiting to be given permission both for the radical stuff like knowing whether its "ok" (permissible) to approach and pray for a total stranger in a shopping mall…to the more mundane and tiny things like how we feel.

It is in light of this weakness that I feel it necessary to release a few permissions out there today, to release myself and maybe you from the invisible lines you have been waiting for permission to cross. It is by no means exhaustive but it is definitely necessary.

It is ok to be sad once in a while, and even more than that if necessary
It is ok to identify that the world is changing and you might not like what you see
It is ok to grieve relationships and friendships that have moved on without you
It is ok to feel lonely
It is ok to want something more
It is ok to not have the answers
It is ok to want to be in control
It is ok to need your space
It is ok to need a friend
It is ok to cry without reason
It is ok to be brutally honest with God
It is ok to have no clue whats going on
It is ok to ask the taboo questions
It is ok to feel scared
It is ok to not meet the mark
It is ok to dance and sing and shout and throw control to the wind
It is ok to sit and do nothing
It is ok to be productive and dream dreams in every direction
It is ok to wish there was someone dreaming with you
It is ok to get to the end of the day and have no idea what you have accomplished
It is ok to need to talk even if you don't know what about
It is ok to miss hugs
It is ok to admit you are wrong
It is ok to want to stop the world and get off

It is ok to be real and honest and true and to allow that moment to hang in the air. Unresolved. Unanswered. A part of life so vital and yet so often disallowed by the feeling that to admit such feelings would be to disbelieve in God.

Could it be that the very recognition and admiral of such feelings is not only what makes us fundamentally human, but is what God loves about us more than anything else?

He has given me permission so that He can join me there.

posted by Claire at 11:11 PM

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