One of the greatest differences between rules and relationship is that rules cause stagnation. They establish a series of laws of guidelines; within which is absolute right and outside of which is absolute wrong. They create a box or a standard that takes something organic, a process, a journey and make it black and white, requiring no grace, only stamina, perseverance and death to self continuously.

Rules are not easy to keep, they keep every record of wrong, they judge and point out flaws, they are merciless in the clarity of the mirror they hold up and they condemn

every

single

time.

We know this. We know that they suck because of this. But I put forward another thought…

Rules - when kept - tell that individual that they are now ok. That where they are is acceptable and a picture of all that is right. They tell them that they are now good, that they have achieved their goal. The person moves from a place of process and condemnation…

…to a place of maintenance.

This is almost more detrimental than the condemning, unachievable standards that rules instill. Why? Because we settle. We stop. We maintain. We have no more reason to pursue the more because we have achieved our goal with our measure of perfection.

Relationship, however, does not judge wrong and right in the same way. Love and grace cover everything, they do not call out something as despicable, unforgivable or unworthy. Relationship simply loves on, walks with and calls out the truth knowing that somewhere along the line, love always will out that which is tormenting and trialling.

Relationship applauds the process

and love motivates a desire to pursue even better.

I have been struggling in many areas over a long enough time that sometimes I find myself wondering "well, if I am not giving into temptation in this area, which is therefore not a sin, am I now ok? is this ok? this is obviously "just part of me" and always will be".

The rules that say "don't give into temptation" say yes, this is fine, stay in these rules and you are good. Maintain this position and you will be holy and continue as a good person. with stamina, checking and religious rule keeping you will find that the maintenance program will keep you in the "right" and not straying into the "wrong". Black and white.

It is only love, relationship, grace, that says "it is not ok" but not out of judgement or because its a sin or its wrong or anything like that. It is not the black and white of "you are wrong because this is wrong". No. I believe that love says that it is not ok to get to this point and just avoid temptation and class it as always being part of you,

because... it is not ok to settle.

More importantly than anything you might be facing, dealing with, feel is part of you and you don't want it to be, sin stuff, whatever. More importantly than the black and white of whether its right or wrong, where the boundaries are, how close to perfection you are yet. More important than all of that is learning that love celebrates the process, applauds you on the journey and calls you through love to press in deeper, higher, nearer. It calls out your destiny, that there is more, that there will always be more. It does not call you to a goal, to an achievement, to a place of maintenance. But love calls you to the pursuit.

Destiny is not a destination

It is a pursuit.

May we never, ever get in the trap of condemnation through falling short of a perceived goal that in our black and whiteness needed to achieve to be able to stay in God's good books.

Would we realise that the privelidge is in the pursuit of destiny in the midst of our failings, pressing upwards purely because of the love we have for the one who cheers us the loudest and will always love us, regardless of anything we do or feel. Would we, the most, start to celebrate our journeys, other people's journeys.

It is not either or; black and white, right and wrong, in or out, achieved or failed.

It is and and more - love covers everything and does not judge, does not care whether you passed or failed.

But loves every single step of every single journey.

The Joy of the Lord is our strength

Abraham and Sarah laughed

Isaac means laughter

It was for the JOY set before Him Jesus was able to do the impossible

The disciples at pentecost were filled with the Holy spirit AND JOY

How did I never notice that before? I don't mean the joy is our strength bit, I mean the pentecost. The fact that even though it is part of the Holy Spirit, Joy is the one highlighted extra, crucial, CENTRAL to pentecost, to the foundations of the first church. CELEBRATION, JOY!!! Man o man o man o man o man

not to mention when Kevin Dedmon before dropping that gloriousness talks about how we are holy as we start singing holy holy and THEN points out that orderliness has nothing to do with aesthetics and perpendicular 90 degree angles, the earth is chaotic looking yet perfectly in order, so's the universe! BUT that a father with children who are laughing knows that laughter is a sign of things BEING IN ORDER, being right, in alignment, all is well.

We need to get used to laughter in the church again, in just a HUGE way!!!

Sound simple? maybe I'm just slow.

But today's blown me away.

Rightly or (mostly) wrongly, I find that inadvertently I have structured and live my life by a set of self-defined rules known only to me which govern everything that I decide or do. These rules, or more accurately "permissions" are determined by everything from preferences to social expectations to bases of sheer fear or unknowing. But regardless of their source, I am finding more and more that unconsciously I, and maybe we, live so much of our life constrained by invisible lines, unseen red tape, waiting to be given permission both for the radical stuff like knowing whether its "ok" (permissible) to approach and pray for a total stranger in a shopping mall…to the more mundane and tiny things like how we feel.

It is in light of this weakness that I feel it necessary to release a few permissions out there today, to release myself and maybe you from the invisible lines you have been waiting for permission to cross. It is by no means exhaustive but it is definitely necessary.

It is ok to be sad once in a while, and even more than that if necessary

It is ok to identify that the world is changing and you might not like what you see

It is ok to grieve relationships and friendships that have moved on without you

It is ok to feel lonely

It is ok to want something more

It is ok to not have the answers

It is ok to want to be in control

It is ok to need your space

It is ok to need a friend

It is ok to cry without reason

It is ok to be brutally honest with God

It is ok to have no clue whats going on

It is ok to ask the taboo questions

It is ok to feel scared

It is ok to not meet the mark

It is ok to dance and sing and shout and throw control to the wind

It is ok to sit and do nothing

It is ok to be productive and dream dreams in every direction

It is ok to wish there was someone dreaming with you

It is ok to get to the end of the day and have no idea what you have accomplished

It is ok to need to talk even if you don't know what about

It is ok to miss hugs

It is ok to admit you are wrong

It is ok to want to stop the world and get off

It is ok to be real and honest and true and to allow that moment to hang in the air. Unresolved. Unanswered. A part of life so vital and yet so often disallowed by the feeling that to admit such feelings would be to disbelieve in God.

Could it be that the very recognition and admiral of such feelings is not only what makes us fundamentally human, but is what God loves about us more than anything else?

He has given me permission so that He can join me there.