This morning as I continue to pray and pursue God's presence and His rest, I came across a question and answer session recorded at Holy Give school in Mozambique back in 2007. During this session Rolland Baker is asked about the sovereignty of God, a question often discussed with regards to control and free choice. What he replied so summed it up for me that I have transcribed it below. Here is our first key to the question of rest...

"Once you find out what kind of a God He is, I realise He is much better than me, He knows what is good and what to do with the rest of my life and how best to do things, who I should be with, where I should go, what gifts i need, what i should be doing.

Some people like the idea of changing Gods mind and taking control and taking hold of their destiny etc…but my point of view is that the less independent we are from God, the more assured we are that He is going to be with us. The less confident we are, the less at peace we are, the more concerned we are whether or not He is going going to be with us next and be interested in what we are doing and support us. The more confident we are that we are in His will instead of ours, the more confident we are that He will be with us and will be interested and want to help us.

And since He knows us better than we know ourselves, He knows better what we should be doing. So I am just finding out that at that point where I am feeling most secure, the safest, the most Holy and the most free and doing the absolutely best thing that I could be doing, absolutely freely, the most freely possible, that is exactly the point t which theHoly Spirit is most in control.

Because His control is not the kind of control we have. Our kind of control forces people to do things they don't wanna do, makes them feel controlled. But His control is the opposite, His control sets us free - where the Holy Spirit is there is freedom. So when He is in control, He has greater relationship within us with Him that makes us the most totally free, so we experience total free choice. That is the dichotomy, the paradox.

The point at which we feel the most free is the SAME point at which He is in most control.

The farther away we get from this control the less free we feel because we start to get controlled again by our own doubts and issues. So sovereignty to me does not mean that I feel more controlled, more constricted and less free, sovereignty means to me that if I desire God and have hunger for Him and am repentant, He has the power to finish what He began in us and I can be confident that He is going to complete His workmanship in me and that is where I will find rest and peace. Without the sovereignty of God I am concerned about whether I am going to make the right choices, whether or not I have what it takes, have the right stuff etc and lots of things are much more in doubt.

So it is the only way I can rest, trusting His ability to fix me and save me from my self. "

The only way we can rest is to embrace God's sovereignty, make room for it in our lives, in fact to direct our lives so that we need Him to be sovereign in every area. The less self sufficient, the less altogether that we have things, the less in control and sorted and without need we are…the less place of true rest we can accomplish.

Oh the upside down kingdom! I love that heaven is full of paradoxes, this one is my most favourite yet. Here I have been spending all my energy trying to sort and clear up doubts and put together schedules and plans and finance etc and all along God has been asking me to:

"Seek first the kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you"

Rest looks like letting go of control and recognising that God is sovereign, allowing Him to be Lord.

No wonder Jesus said:

"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule."