Although I am in the centre of such awesome celebration at the moment and so consumed with great joy at being where I am, God continues to work in and through me, praise Him. Today He showed me through something oh so tiny that there is another root that He wants to take out completely that I might walk even more free, even more with Him shining through me.

As long as I am relying in any way shape or form on people to satisfy or meet any expectations in me either emotionally, circumstantially or even keeping their word, I will live disappointed. Is that not the life I say I rejected when I became a bondservant? Is that not something that I said instantly gets put to death when one realizes that all life is grace given? Then surely I need greater revelation of grace, greater understanding of who God is and that not only will He never disappoint, but freely I have received, oh how freely therefore must I give! Only the other did I write a blog about the greatest act of worship being laying our crowns, our pride, our whole selves at the feet of Jesus and how I wanted more opportunity to do so in the worship of surrender. Now I understand that forgiveness and the laying down of disappointment are two of the most intense and incredible manifestations of the worship of surrender. To decide to forgive and show grace as He showed us, living waters flowing through us! I lay down disappointment as I stand here on the stormy sea.

I have got out of the boat and there is no way for me to get back in, if I take my eyes of Him for a second in whatever direction, I will drown. The only thing that can be done now is to begin to learn how to walk on the water, begin to learn trust and expectation and faith to a whole new level. It is to remove any and all dependence not only on those in the boat, but even on my physical ability to achieve my goal. When He has you walk this walk, it involves laying down it all. And so I lay it down God, I lay down my disappointment, I lay down my resentment, I lay down my love, I lay down my life, I am sorry for wrong attitudes and heart, I am sorry for considering looking for the boat. I am here, I stand on the waves and I look into your beautiful eyes. Oh Jesus, I know that you will never leave me nor let me down. Oh Jesus, that is enough. Let that always be enough.

Psalm 66

8 Praise our God, O peoples,
let the sound of his praise be heard;

9 he has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping.

10 For you, O God, tested us;
you refined us like silver.

11 You brought us into prison
and laid burdens on our backs.

12 You let men ride over our heads;
we went through fire and water,
but you brought us to a place of abundance.

13 I will come to your temple with burnt offerings
and fulfill my vows to you-

14 vows my lips promised and my mouth spoke
when I was in trouble.