[First off i apologize for not blogging much as of late, art has kind of taken all my journaling and put it onto canvas, but I will try and come back on here as much as I am able. God is doing so much that I am not currently articulating that if you want information as to what i am actually doing in life, you will have to talk to me face to face :) but in the meantime i will continue to explore what He calls me to explore on here and to lay down t His feet...the only thing I can do]

“So all of my hopes and my best laid plans
Are safe and secure when I place them in your hands
So I’m gonna lay it down
I’m gonna learn to trust you now
Oh what more can I do?
Cos everything I am depends on you
And if the sun don’t come back up
You know your love would be enough
I’m gonna let it be
I’m gonna let it go
I’m gonna lay it down
I’m gonna lay it down.” - Jaci Velasquez

Daddy that is where I begin. Laying into your hands everything that has been bugging me today, upsetting me, making me wonder, doubt, question, ponder. Daddy I lay it all down and I just continue to praise, to worship, to adore, oh daddy I wanna be even more in your heart, I wanna be back on your lap again, it has been too long since me and you just cuddled. I miss that, I have loved worshipping with paint. I wanna stay here! I wanna move in deeper into you! I love you with everything in me! I am so addicted to you! So consumed!

I lay down before you therefore the stuff that is bothering me right now. Daddy I give it to you, I don’t want it anymore, I like it when you hold all this stuff, I like it the most because it means I don’t hold it, you tuck it away in your heart safely and then we just carry on as normal, me and you, loving on each other. Daddy I love it this way the best. Please help me to give it to you quicker and easier than I do and not fall into the trap where I think that somehow I can sort it if I keep hold of it.

Thankyou so much for my job btw! I am loving that today I met a guy who is best mates with Abi’s brother today and an awesome Christian! I love that so many people are considering buying my stuff and there has just been so much favor there AND I have been able to do all my art work at the same time!

So what do you want me to write this evening? What do you wish me to ponder? I would love to go back to psalm 73 and explore once again the transformation that occurs when we enter the sanctuary of the Lord, but instead I look for the fresh bread, the word for today, daddy what is it you taught me today?

You taught me that your grace is sufficient.

Where my grace is not, where my love fails me, where my understanding grinds to a halt, where my feelings and emotions draw from circumstance and perception….YOUR grace is sufficient. Enough. Plenty. All I need. Adequate. Ample. Satisfactory. Sufficient.

God you just blow me away. Over and over again. The fact that not only do you know my infallibility and my human weakness, but you allow me to draw from you all the time, non stop, I am so needy, I am so in need of you, always hungry, always thirsty, always desperate, always completely unable, as weak and dependant as a newborn and yet you let me draw from you until it is sufficient, until you have sorted it. You know that my grace is not sufficient, that I fall, that I don’t understand, that I feel hurt or confused or scared and worried about the future You know all of that but instead of making mine enough, instead of demanding that somehow I step up to a mark…You just says You are sufficient. Oh God. I am not worthy of such grace. You are my everything, when you are in me and pour through me like you are doing right now, the breath of your nostrils on my head, your chest rising lifting me slowly up and down….I am filled with grace and love again and I see how you see. I see that somehow it is going to be ok. I see that whatever the outcome, me and you are still ok and can still come here one on one. I can see the lessons I am learning about depending on you, I can see that I cant see all of it and however much I want to think I know everything about something or someone, I don’t. not even slightly. All I know is what you tell me. Only you are sufficient for me.

Ahhhhh that’s better. Thankyou daddy. I still have residue feelings in the pit of my stomach but I know you can get rid of them in a heartbeat and that at the end of the day, what I feel and perceive doesn’t in fact mean much at all. It is inconsequential. You are everything

You are everything
You are everything.

And you look at me and I hear you sing…

“You’re my beloved
You’re my bride
To sing over you is my delight
Come away with me my love
Under my mercy come and wait
Til we are standing face to face
I see no stain on you my child.
You’re beautiful to me
So beautiful to me
I sing over you my song of peace
Cast all your cares down at my feet
Come and find your rest in me.
I’ll breathe my life inside of you
I’ll bear you up on eagles wings
And hide you in the shadow of my strength
I’ll take you to my quiet waters
I’ll restore your soul
Come rest in me and be made whole.
You’re my beloved
You’re my bride
To sing over you is my delight
Come away with me my love” - Kari Jobe

That is enough

You are enough

Your grace is sufficient for me…

...for always.

amen