Is it right to seeking the Experience of God? – Asking for a Damascus Road

There are such mixed views about seeking after the experiential. Many shy away form the topic altogether because there have been so many occasions when it has become the focus of meetings, hype and distraction. But with our eyes fixed on our Lord, we must note that the entire bible is filled with the experience of the supernatural, of God. And most significant and important, the radical transformation that occurred as a result of these experiences that has changed the world for the glory of God and the furthering of His kingdom. Don’t believe me? Look at Paul, at Moses, at Isaiah, at David, at Gideon. Keep looking and you will find nearly every major leading character has had the same thing happen. It appears that those especially called to a place of publicity, persecution, authority or all the above, are transformed by and walk in a place of supernatural revelation and an experience that gives them the ability to stay steadfast and true to God. It creates a fear of the Lord, a hope, a perspective, a greater love and revelation. God calls us to intimacy with Him and He calls us to relationship. How can we have a relationship with someone if there is a whole aspect missing? The idea of physicality with God is one of almost taboo and yet let us look:

Romans 12:1-3

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.

“Christians use this passage mostly when sending off a new missionary to a post overseas or when someone is doing some kind of ministry that involves self denial…I’d like to suggest that this passage is (however) also speaking about our physical bodies’ role in recognizing and working with God. Let me develop this in the life of King David, the man perhaps most acquainted with the presence and the glory of God of anyone in all of history.

David had 30-40 years in which he came freely before the actual manifested presence of God that was upon the Ark of the Covenant. God’s glory radiated visibly from it. The bible makes it clear that David was immeasurably impacted by God’s presence, as a result he wrote;

“My flesh longs for you…” (ps 63:1b)

Was he speaking purely metaphorically? I don’t think so. He was declaring that he had been so affected by the presence and the glory of God that his body itself ached and cried out for more. What’s true for David is true for us. In the same way that you and I hunger for food or thirst for water, our physical bodies, not just our emotions, intellects and spirits, can ache for God. And if we can hunger for God physically, then we can be satisfied physically…God has put it within our makeup the capacity to recognize Him and His activities with our physical bodies [senses].”

-Bill Johnson “Supernatural power of the transformed mind” pg 133

Proverbs 6:16-19

16 There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him:17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue,hands that shed innocent blood, 18 a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, 19 a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers

Senses. Physical bodily senses. If they can displease God and be used for evil then surely…?

Romans 6:13

Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness.

"Understanding began to come to me. I realized that our five senses are the entry points and the access points of all the worldly and demonic influences that we come up against every day.

These are also the very places for the Holy Spirit and the power of God to be released in us. The problem is that we are yielding our five senses to the wrong areas and not to the Lord.”

Gary Oates “Open my eyes Lord” pg 43

Believe me yet?! The bible, the New Testament in fact, calls us to experience God with our physical senses, to interact with Him not only emotionally, spiritually, mentally and intellectually, but physically.

It is also important to see the role of physical experience of God in transforming our mind by giving us a vision and a fixing point giving us the ability to withstand:

"’Where there is no vision/revelation, the people perish/cast off restraint, but blessed are those who keep the law.’…As Christians, we are called to be a people of vision. We must learn to set a goal or a target in front of our eyes to gaze upon. It is only when we aim at something we have a chance at hitting it!”

- Jim Goll “the Seer” pg 46-47

The vision that Elijah, Elisha, Jacob, Zecheriah, Daniel, had, sustained them. Experiences can be the means by which (NOT the only means) the Lord gives us a vision that will sustain us through what is to come. It can also transform our very being and mindset:

“Jacob was seeking with all his might and found the face of God. He was not willing to give up. The struggle produced something heavenly in Jacob. His life was never the same after the encounter with the angel of the Lord. He found strength he didn’t know he had. He was transformed.”

Gary Oates “Open my Eyes Lord” pg 112

To seek an experience, as long as we are seeking the face of God first and only, is not a wrong thing. It has the potential to change our life as dramatically and unrecognizably as Paul and the potential to alter the course of history to the same degree for we have the same Spirit, so does the next conclusion stand to reason even if it’s a little scary?...If what is true for Paul could be true for us if we get revelation of whatever it is he saw or experienced….

…are we willing to ask God for a Damascus road experience?

Acts 9:1-9

Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord's disciples. He went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?"

"Who are you, Lord?" Saul asked.

"I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting," he replied. "Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do."

The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless; they heard the sound but did not see anyone. Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything.

Fear of the Lord rightly causes us to tremble in His presence. The idea of asking for such a life transforming encounter and the possibility that God may in fact answer that prayer, fills us both with uncontainable excitement and also terror. It is right to be afraid in the presence of God, oh woe to those who would try and enter His presence cocky or self righteous! Lower and lower still beloved! Stay low! However, we can trust Him. We can trust Him with everything, He is our Daddy and there are bounds He will not cross:

“Again I was resisting what God was doing and I started backing down [from the heaven experience]. I realized that He would only take me as far as I was willing to allow Him, but I was the bottleneck. I put the brakes on. I was the one who would determine how far I went with Him. Because of insecurities and fear of the supernatural, I had somehow drawn a line in the sand with God.”

The way to experience God? To pray the prayer of Romans 6:13. To surrender ones body entirely and completely to the works of God. Pursuing a purity and a holiness that we called to, no compromise. Jesus says that those who are pure in heart will see Gods face. We have got to decide what we want and then run after it whatever the cost:

“David makes a solemn request in Psalm 86:11 (NIV) “Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in Your Truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name”. A divided heart can keep us out of God’s presence.…This is about COMPLETE SURRENDER. It’s a call to 100% commitment to Him. It’s saying to the Lord: ‘I want everything You’ve got…I’ll pay whatever the price. I want intimacy with you!”

Gary Oates “Open my eyes Lord” pg 42, 115

Which leads me to where I have been living recently…

(see my next post)

Death to self – the life of a bondservant, ‘a living martyr’

Romans 6:11-12

In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.

I also have been reading Rees Howells and I first off love how much time is taken with his early life, with the lessons he learned in the secret place, with the small and the seemingly ridiculous so that he would truly come to the place of total self sacrifice, total surrender before the rest of the book takes place. I love how his heart is so consumed with the God that He communes with and that there are hints of visions and third heaven experiences, that He cannot argue with the compulsion of the Holy Spirit. He is a man of such simple living and yet even in the level of humility he first walked in, God killed every part of him.

I am so challenged this week and as I move into lent that I should truly understand and begin to walk in the life I have chosen, to be utterly slave to Christ, His bondservant, a living martyr with "no more claim to his life than a dead man". We do not have to live this way to walk the Christian life or to commune with God. There are many great men and women of God who did not choose the radical path who were blessed and received warmly into Gods arms. The difference? The level of authority we walk in and the fruit we see on this earth. We are the ones who determine our fruitfulness and how far we go with God because it is determined by how far we let God move through us (cf the vine and the branches). The amount we have died to and bound and dealt with in our own lives is the level to which we can pray over other people. How can we pray that which we have not walked either physically or in the spirit?

And how can we understand humility unless first we learn how to lay down everything we have, including our rights? Who are we to say "I have a right" to this or that? If we have decided to live as a bondservant to God, then we have a right to nothing. Everything we are and have is a blessing and a grace gift. How freeing is that?! It sounds like bondage and yet it is not at all! It is a revelation that we can never be offended, never be disappointed again! We are ever without a right or ability to acheive anything and yet we are so blessed and highly favored of God that we can look around and every avenue of our lives drips His kindness, His grace, His mercy! From the breath we breathe to the people in our lives, provision, discipline, love, direction, a roof over our heads, food, joy, peace, happiness, health. Everything everything everything that we have is a grace gift from God when we have totally surrendered ourselves and our rights to Him. No longer can we ever say that by some earning power we have a 'right' to something, instead I have no right to be happy or fed or warm or comforted or supported or loved and yet He is my daddy God who has the right to do whatever He wishes and yet to me and you He has given in abundance what I ask. In this mindset, I can never be offended, instead always overwhelmed with His kindness.

Surely death to self is the greatest revelation of grace we can have?

I am reminded and I repeat once again the revelation that hit me this week from Julie Meyer's vision of heaven. The ultimate most beautiful act of worship in the whole of the heavens happens right here...

"At a distance, I could feel the vibrations of the rolling of the crowns, the casting of the crowns down. They cast them down in awesome agony. They don't throw them down or set them down but with all of their might they cast down their crowns as if to throw all, as if to throw EVERY BIT of themselves before this One so Holy. And I saw that those who are closest to the Lord, in the very court of heaven, spend their time falling down. And they never get weary, they just keep bowing low, falling down and gazing at this One, sitting upon the throne.

...to take everything we have been given by this grace, not just on earth but even our crowns in heaven, and to throw them down as the ultimate act of worship and surrender. To die to self, to worship the creator with every atom He ever gave us. God I want to understand because I want to worship you in Spirit and Truth simply because You are Worthy.

"At a distance, I could feel the vibrations of the rolling of the crowns, the casting of the crowns down. They cast them down in awesome agony. They don't throw them down or set them down but with all of their might they cast down their crowns as if to throw all, as if to throw every bit of themselves before this One so Holy. And I saw that those who are closest to the Lord, in the very court of heaven, spend their time falling down. And they never get weary, they just keep bowing low, falling down and gazing at this One, sitting upon the throne." - Julie Meyer, 'Vision'

Genuine Authority is carried with Meekness, gentleness, lowliness

Jesus "I have all authority, ALL THINGS have been delivered to me by my Father"

He knows His identity and therefore what? He takes the town and washes their feet. Authority should ALWAYS lead into gentleness and into servanthood

He was given all authority on heaven and earth...

...and chose to claim none of it but instead became slave of all.

"For even the son of man did not come to be served but to serve as give His life as a ransom for many"

What makes us think we have the 'right' to anything more that the sacrificing of it all?

Authority never should lead you into the right to use it, condescending or overlording it over someone.

"Whoever of you desires to be first, shall be slave of all"

Lets get it in our minds that Jesus never exaggerates.

"Its more than a good bible study. Its a manifestation of Christ in us, responding in righteousness, responding in Mercy. Gratefulness, faithfulness, gentleness, long suffering he says, these are my weapons and they pull down strongholds, a generation can get hold of virtue. The power of Christ in us bringing with Him all the hope of glory to come. the indwelling Christ manifesting His own life in us, to be divine participants, ALL to partake of the divine nature. He says my weapons are mighty, everytime I respond in love I am pulling thing down over that congregation and you dont even know it, I am winning, you dont have any idea what true weapons are. We cast down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. Beloved this is words and more than words. Bringing every thought in to captivity to obedience to Christ.

Let me tell you what true warfare is

It's

HOLINESS

He says the battle is over, He said the one who manifests the nature of Christ WINS.
Righteousness in the inward parts. The battle is over.

To really buy in that there is something greater than a platform, its virtue. Its that the fragrance of god resting on our frames. It's that in gentleness and meekness, the life of Christ would come forth. That we would edify all, that we would be a slave to all. Oh if we would really believe.

To be a slave to all, a foolishness to the world but the wisdom of God."

- Corey Russell

Thousands flee Mozambique floods

Mozambique was not prepared for the floods in 2000 and 2001

About 60,000 Mozambicans have been evacuated from homes in the flooded Zambezi River valley in the last three days after weeks of heavy rain.

The army has used boats and helicopters to rescue people cut off by what officials are calling the worst flooding since 2001.

Rescue officials say another 100,000 people are still at risk.

Rising waters have cut road access to relocation centres already short of drinking water, food and shelter.

International aid agencies have launched an urgent appeal for funds and supplies for the flood victims.

'Worse than 2001'

Heavy rainfall across neighbouring Zimbabwe, Zambia and Malawi has poured into the reservoir of Mozambique's main hydro-electric dam, the Cahora Bassa, filling it to capacity.

Water has already been released, but officials say more flood gates must be opened to prevent the dam wall from bursting.

The situation is worst in the country's central region where the Zambezi River and its tributaries - the Shire and Revubue - have become swollen with surging waters.

Officials said 46,000 homes have been destroyed. Roads and bridges have been washed away, thousands of hectares of crops have been flooded and there are reports at least 29 people have been killed

The head of Mozambique's relief agency, Paulo Zucula, said they were expecting worse floods than those that devastated the country in 2001, killing 700 people. However, this time they were better prepared.

But many people arriving in the crowded relocation centres on higher ground have found them short of supplies and shelter.

And access roads have been cut by flooding.

One woman told Reuters news agency that the water struck her home at night last week and her family had lost everything.

"But now we are here without food and shelter and the government is saying there are no access roads to bring the food," said Julita Dinala.

Mozambique's Prime Minister Liusa Diogo has ordered the forcible evacuation of thousands of people in low-lying areas as more rains are expected to fall this week.

Some people have been reluctant to leave their homes, animals and crops.

The UN World Food Programme says that more than 250,000 people in Mozambique alone may need food assistance in the coming months because of the damage to crops and property.

Elijah to Elisha (his servant) = Double portion

Elisha to Gehazi = could have given him double of double...what would that even have LOOKED like?!

Instead....

the man who could have asked to receive 4 times the anointing of Elijah who himself raised the dead and commanded weather and fire from heaven, let alone Elisha who raised the dead after he himself was dead....

...chose to run after the things of the world and lost it all

We have to live in a place of no compromise, it will cost us, but we need to gain a Holy fear of the Lord that pushes us into a place of obedience, love, devotion and unswervedness.

Dear Friends,

Thank you for all the love, encouragement and prayer support you have faithfully given me to date. I am writing to let you know where God is taking me in the coming months. As you know, I visited Iris Ministries Childrens’ center in Pemba, Mozambique in May 2006 and my life has been turned upside down as a result! God has re-awakened in me a deep passion for the poor and a hunger to see His glory and love being poured out on them. As I obey His call on my life, He is opening doors before me. Iris Ministries are hosting their fourth missions school in the summer months of 2007 and I have been given the opportunity to attend.

History of Iris Ministries

Iris Ministries has an orphanage of just over 3,000 children as well as a school of missions in Pemba, Mozambique, Africa. Rolland and Heidi Baker, founders of Iris Ministries, were both ordained as ministers in 1985 after completing their BA and MA degrees at Southern California College and also both gaining doctorates in systematic theology in 1991. In 1995 the Bakers arrived in Mozambique, the poorest country in the world. They set up many childrens’ centers in Mozambique and surrounding countries, and have adopted over 5,000 children. The Bakers are now at the forefront of a massive outpouring of the Holy Spirit in Mozambique and Southeast Africa that has seen thousands come to Jesus, most in Muslim provinces. Through their work, the Lord has planted 7,000 churches and great miracles are a regular occurrence as a result of their obedience. They are also committed to the training of indigenous pastors through the school and serve their local and wider community in many different ways including medical care, education and food programs. For more information about Iris, please visit www.irismin.org

Iris Ministries Holy Given School of Missions

The summer school will give me in depth biblical grounding in missionary work as well as hours of hands on experience, serving and praying for the poorest of the poor, children and adults alike. The curriculum includes outreaches, bible studies, small group work and regional church meetings with students and guest speakers from around the world. This is an opportunity of a lifetime and I know that the Lord is calling me to be a part of this great move of His Spirit

Long term vision

As a nurse, I have a heart to provide health education to those have never had access to basic health care. However, I believe the details of my long term future with Iris Ministries will become clearer during the three month bible school as I wait on the Lord.

Currently, upon finishing the school, I intend to return to England for the Autumn of 2007 while my application is processed.

I feel so privileged to have the opportunity to serve God with my whole life and depend on Him for everything. This is an opportunity to work in co-operation with the heart of God for His children and to be His hands and His feet in places where the hope of His Word needs so desperately to be known.

Prayer pointers

Please continue to pray for me as I prepare to return to Pemba, Mozambique.

· Pray that the Holy Spirit will use me to my utmost potential

· Pray that the people of Mozambique will be prepared to hear the saving grace of Jesus Christ

· Pray that God’s hand of protection will be over me during my travels to and from Mozambique

· Pray for God’s provision

· Most of all pray for God’s divine Will to be done in Mozambique.

Iris Ministries students and missionaries are self-supporting which means that I will be reliant on Gods provision and not funded by Iris in any way. If God leads you to support me financially, please contact me at chollywell@googlemail.com or comment on this post for paypal details.

I am truly excited to see God move to change not only the hearts around me but my life, attitude, and direction as a result of doing what He has said. The vision of Iris ministries has captured my heart; stopping for the one, radical living, walking with Jesus in total trust and obedience. After visiting last year, I became so desperately hungry, thirsty and inspired to walk as the disciples walked, leaving all behind, healing the sick, cleansing the leper, casting out demons and preaching salvation (Matthew 10v8)….doing what I, we, are created to do. I am going to Mozambique to learn and to understand how to walk this. I am desperate for Him!

I pray you might be greatly encouraged by the work that the Lord is doing in Africa at this time and through the world as we surrender our lives to Him and begin to see glimpses of heaven on earth.

Through His Commission,

Claire Hollywell

Website (Temporary): www.chollywell.blogspot.com

Website (Under construction): www.chollywell.com

Email: www.chollywell@googlemail.com

"I have strength for all things in Christ who empowers me. I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses inner strength to me: I am self sufficient in Christs sufficiency." Phil 4:13 (AMP)

So yeah...I started to paint again...I love worship :)

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will Abide/rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1

As I was talking with God about this verse this morning, asking Him about what it truly means to be dwelling in Him, revelation hit me. I have been reading torch and the sword recently and have become so aware that I have spent too long looking at the torch. His presence, everything that I had a few weeks/months ago with Him have become slightly more heavy as I have made my dwelling more and more in the memory and experiences of God. I run to catch Him up, I call out to Him to deliver me from myself, from my pride and fear and all that plagues me and I asked Him again about this verse because I know that I know that I know that if I were to understand it and to live in it, I would not be in fear, I would not be proud, I would not be troubled and I would not be living in the semi-permanent state of panic attack I still currently remain in both night and day.

The Lord showed me the difference between a dwelling and abiding. Wow. A dwelling is Home. Its that wonderful word that means the place where you walk in, you kick off your shoes, know where things are, there is familiarity, relationship, BELONGING, comfort, intimacy, warmth, security, protection. I see a lounge in a warm fire-lit house where we have run as children and curled up at daddy’s feet or in His lap.

To dwell somewhere however, is to have a base, that is where you come back to, it is where you belong, it is where you move from, it is where you can always go to get away from everything. But it is not where we stay 24/7. This is a new revelation for me and if I am wrong, thats totally fine but hear me out. We do not stay in our dwelling places all the time, we have to walk into the stormy dark world sometimes, or the bright shiny daylight one, either way, we have to go, we walk into our workplaces, walk into our streets and churches and places of community. Just because we walk out of our dwelling, our house, does not mean we no longer belong there, in fact it defines us in many ways, it is just that if we remained there, we would not be interacting and walking life in its fullness. So heres some abiding.

Abiding under the shadow of the Almighty is such a moveable description. The shadow of a fortress or a rock or something is so very sold and static whereas a shadow moves wherever the owner of the shadow moves, it is far from a static image but one of walking and moving and living. Therefore, the promise is such. If we will take the time to go home, to spend time with daddy in our familiarity or setting, in secret place with him, curl up by the fire, talk to him about stuff. If we will not be so busy that we sleep from couch to couch and never see our house one Sunday from the next, but instead go home and share evening meals with our father, love on him and allow him the time to love on us and impart his fatherly wisdom and tenderheartedness to us, then we have a promise...

...when we walk out of that door into the world, we will abide, we will live, under His shadow. Where He walks, we shall walk, where He is, we shall be. Our identity will remain hidden in Him, our security will go with us, He will not be far away but will cover us and be everything that we find in our dwelling place as we walk where He has asked us to go.

If we will dwell, we will abide.

Is it possible, as a consequence of our sin, to miscarry the promises of God?

Captivated by You
Captivated by You
May my life be one unbroken gaze
Fixed upon Your beauty
Fixed upon Your beauty
Fixed upon the beauty of your face

No other could ever
Be as beautiful
No other could ever
Steal my heart away
No other could ever
Be as beautiful
No other could ever
Steal my heart away.

I just can’t look away.

-Vicky Beeching (on my myspace)

Hehe, I am LOVING that song right now! so simple, so so beautiful *sigh* its my prayer Daddy.

So....watched the "Merchant of Venice" for the first time today. Once I got past the whole Shakespeare floweryness and the impressive costumes, and one has to see beyond the blatant anti-semetism that pervades a certain portion of the play, well...

...once I had got past all that, wow. It has become one of my top favorite plays of all time. What an incredible piece of writing that created that court scene. The Jew, who was actually wronged but one has to get past that as I first said cos its all incredibly provocative, was determined to have the bond that they had signed.

They were bound by law to give him his 'pound of flesh'- literally. They begged him for mercy, begged that he would see different but he continued to argue that he had made a bond before heaven and it was the law and he stood for the law:

" SHYLOCK (the Jew)
My deeds upon my head! I crave the law, The penalty and forfeit of my bond."

It is such an incredible picture, for one, of what it is like to be completely bound up by law, to be completely compelled to follow through and there be no room whatsoever for grace or mercy. In the end, he ends up being the one begging the guy he almost killed for mercy because of an awesome twist, but if you havent seen/read it, just for that scene, get it (http://www.william-shakespeare.info/act4-script-text-merchant-of-venice.htm). I have never ever see anything that so beautifully and incredibly portrays the parable that Jesus spoke of when He said about the king who wrote off thousands of pounds worth of debt to a servant who then went out and jailed his servant for owing him ten pounds.

Mercy mercy mercy. I think thats the theme of the day, sweet sweet mercy. We deserve nothing and yet we have everything, purely and utterly because we have been rescued, we have been made righteous, we have been shown exceeding mercy and grace. Oh that we would gain fresh revelation of that so that we might be compelled to show mercy in all situations without even passing thought. God, would we realise that we are no longer under law and the gravity of what that MEANS. God, that we would understand mercy and freely give as we have so freely received. Oh God forgive me for not walking in this even close to the level you deserve. I love you. Kill me more that you might be glorified through me, less of me, more of you.

I am in awe! so in awe! The stuff that God has taught me today, oh He is so so good! In the midst of trouble and difficutly He takes me to new levels in Him and hearing His voice!

A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine told me a situation and immediately I knew how it was meant to pan out even though that was near-on impossible. I prayed and prayed for it and it did not change and then today there was a specific moment I was asked to pray again and that exact moment the person's heart changed and the initial way i saw it occuring was possible! On its own, maybe not that stupendous, but this is happening again and again and again and again. Oh hearing the voice of God with clarity, this is what I have craved, have sought! More of your voice Lord! More of your face!!!

Trust Him. Thats my message in it all. Its not about how He talks or anything, most of you hear Him all the time but logic it away on imagination and making stuff up. Just run with it, trust it, be like a kid again, start allowing yourself to get stuff wrong, give yourself the grace that the western world does not have but God is full of. Start moving out in the foolish and you willl understand that which the wise cannot,

that we can hear the very heartbeat of God

Oh yay for Birthdayness!