Only yesterday I posted a blog in response to a comment a wise friend of mine posed;

“Spiritual maturity is not judged by what we do, but by our hearts response to mistreatment”

It has stuck with me since then and during today which has to be said, was one of the hardest days this week yet. I have been so frustrated at myself, not eating, lying awake, sleeping all day, unable to escape from my thoughts, my emotions, hurt and pain and anxiety. I have not been like this in so long, I hated that the old me appeared to be back again. I was and am so tired. And yet tonight something broke, it is as if I finally have the answer to where I am at right now. What is my hearts response? Not what am I gonna do or how am I gonna do it, but what am I going to choose my heart response to be?

God is Faithful.

It was tonight I gained further revelation of Gods beautiful, overwhelming faithfulness. In the midst of it all He has been faithful, He does not change, He is I AM, He is the same yesterday and today and tomorrow and next week. I was so dumb struck, so overwhelmed, so broken by the fact that HE never changes and that HIS FAITHFULNESS is not dependant upon OUR EMOTION or on us period. I was reminded His response to Moses and it made me chuckle.

“So now go. I am sending you…”

“Who am I that I should go?”

And God said? …. “I will be with you” – Ex 3:10-12

What a beautiful expression of our humanness and God Godliness. God sent Moses just like He has and is sending me. Moses saw His inability, His insecurities surfaced and all of a sudden He became not only insecure and fearful and anxious but also in need of personal affirmation. Did God give Him either? In a way yes He did, but what God said was not “You are great, I made you for the job, you have a wonderful speaking voice” or “don’t question my judgement just get out there and do it” or any other variation. In fact, the wonderful aspect of this passage is that God does not address Moses’ ability or person at all. Who is He that He should go? God just replies that He will be with Him.

We are nobody, we are unable, our security cannot be in ourselves and we cannot be driven by emotion or the need for someone to affirm us so that we can walk the next step. Our security, our bedrock can only be on the very character of God. Tonight my flesh response is still all over the place but I pause, I realize that I have a choice as to how my heart responds. I look into the eyes of my saviour and I am flooded with grace and I choose how I wish to respond.

My God is Faithful. He never changes. His love is not conditional nor dependant upon where I am at or even how I treat Him. He will not and does not reject me nor hate me nor love me less nor get irritated with me. He loves with an undying love, He pours out His grace immeasurably. My God is unchanging.

My God is a Faithful God.

Period.