I write all that is below because I feel I should share a glimpse, and that is all it is, of what I have come home from. I share it with you not to make you jealous, but to create within you a longing for the things of God. We are too content. Thats what was revealed to me this morning at church, I called people to hunger, thirst, longing, to want to chase after Him, to see His words bear fruit. Read what God has said He will do, read what Jesus said about Himself and his kingdom and our authority, read it and then declare it. We are living with the bar set too low, we are far too satisfied and content with where we are and the tiny things we are asking for. How big is your God? I ask again, how big is your God? Sit under His waterfall, ask for Him to fill you so that you might be brimming, that you might be poured out to everyone you come into contact with. Stop being comfortable and satisfied. Divine discontent. I dare you to pray for it ;)

Friday, January 18, 2008

I have to sleep and I am wanting to give Jesus the rest of my evening so this will be short but oh so sweet. He is ravishing me again!!! It has been a battle, still is a battle, but I can hear Him, feel Him, smell Him, touch Him! whether it is permanent or break in the clouds I do not know neither do I care right now except that I know He is here. He is wooing me like in Hosea 2, He is calling me by name and in my naked, ruined, broken mess of a state, He is calling me into His very heart and loving on me in a way and with an abundance of grace that makes no sense. I deserve punishment! What a harlot and a whore I have been to Him and yet where the world would stone me...how does it make sense that He takes us into a desert not to punish us but to give us a new name, to draw us into an even deeper place of intimacy?!!? doesnt he know our humaness? doesnt He stop trusting us? I am so overwhelmed receiving a love I have not been imparting, to know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of my actions, to be hurting for the same reasons God hurts right now and yet...oh He loves me in a way that makes no sense, that breaks my heart.

He is revealing Himself to me again as He does in the wilderness and the valley of achor (Hosea 2) truly I have never known a grace like it. I, totally undeserving and yet...and yet He calls me to Himself, He calls me by name and draws me into His heart. Not to give me answers and formula and reason. But just to love me and be with me and hold me. Oh, what to do with this?! How to lay down the hurt and pain, how to lay down hurts, pour out forgiveness, shower with grace, wipe the slate clean, trust again and truly love without condition, love as He has asked me to without needing reciprocation, loving like Jesus...because of Jesus...for Jesus and Him alone. How to cover this in grace? how to learn mercy? Oh that He would consume me. I want to abide in Him.

I am done being a twig. I cannot bear fruit without Him. I am being burned in the pile and am so ready to be grafted again, to abide in the vine.

posted by Claire at 12:54 AM

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